So excited to have these in my possesion. Yum Yum.

My vision board

Within 9-10 months I intend to:

1. Get a Cadillac CTS

2. Go to Disneyland

3. Get promoted

4. Go to LA for a weekend

5. Own an Iphone 3GS

6. Have Missy complete Obedience School

7. Get a sponsor and work the Steps with her

8. Have all legal issues hashed out and behind me

Before the end of 2010 I will have:

1. Gone to NY

2. Been already attending school in making the steps to becoming a Health Inspector

3. Get promoted

Right now and ALWAYS continuing:

1. To be more involved with family

2. To keep and maintain my sobriety

3. Working the steps and finding opportunities in completing these goals

4. To leave a good memory of myself to those I interact with

5. Leave everything better than I found it.

6. To love myself

This song is for you.

I was looking over my past entries on my xanga account and found myself quite embarassed with how I depicted my self assuredness. Leave it up to 17 year olds to believe they've got it all down. And give them internet access. Cockiness is not a good color on me. Especially when I have it documented for all to see on the internets. 

Then there's this ongoing battle between me and this one person. I thought it was all done and over with, but I guess it went to sleep and joined a bunch of social networking applications. I remember we tried to hash it out, only to return? Maybe my/our motives were wrong, or it wasn't time.

Maybe this person annoys me because I see something in them I see in myself. I can't keep up with the cryptic messages we leave each other. Or wondering, is she talking about me?? Keeping score that amounts to getting nowhere. It's exhausting. We don't need to be friends, and I'm absolutely in love with that idea. Until we start moving to Pluto and other planets-this world is small. We can't deny each other's existance. I can keep passing judgment, throwing uncredited gossip, biased commentary, and making vague references. The funny part about this, is I don't believe I personally know this person for it to be taken seriously. 

I've tried ignoring this person, even to their face. But that's just rude. How to solve world peace? By understanding why people do the things they do and your own part in it. Keep your side of the street clean, and don't worry about theirs. Let's not worry about the problem (which by the way, can I even remember WHAT THE HELL IT WAS ABOUT???!), and think about a solution instead. I have no idea what that is except that the only control I have about this is to no longer exhaust energy into this shit. 

Oh and maybe I'm just mad that this person took who I believed at the time to be one of my best friends (now, I'm wondering if it was even mutual) away from me. I should be mad at that other person instead. Or mad at myself for having expectations, and follow my own advice: Expect nothing and everything will be a wonderful surprise. 

Every time I'm having a great time dancing, I channel my inner Cher (Horowitz)...

Everyday Struggle

A little late on the game, but I watched that film on Notorious BIG's life, NOTORIOUS. Pretty good-a little on the B list, but I think it was a good idea that they used lesser known actors. 

I've been listening to some of his stuff from Life After Death. 

Now, I'm no drug dealer, but I can definitely relate to this song in some level. He was pretty self depreciating and am some point, wanted to just end it and fade to black...at least is what I can get from a few of his songs. I use to be really weak about living life and rolling with the punches earlier in formative years...wanting to give up and cash out. I found myself at a crossroad of this again a couple of days ago, except the difference today is I got alot to live for, and always have. I've got these great ideas, wonderful friends and family, and tools to dig myself above-not out, of the hiccups I've created or been a part of. Shit, I ain't perfect, and I don't strive to be. I just want to be happy.

Let's Make This Moment A Crime

It has been awhile since I have blogged. It's funny, this "blogging" business has existed even before I was doing it as a 16 year old (extra points if you can find my geocities account!). I guess this viral form of self promotion turned into a hit once somebody gave it a buzz worthy name. Has anybody tried Bing yet?

I've been on the fence about coming back to sharing my shenanigans out to the web galaxy, much of the delay due to work and sheer laziness. (These two don't apply to each other in other aspects of my life FYI!!!) I'm already on twitter after two weeks of questioning and talking shit about it. Apparently, I'm not the first person to say, "I don't get Twitter." And I used this as my opening line to Kevin Pollak, btw. 

I'm a skeptic, but it doesn't mean I won't try. I'm just a bit reluctant to the overexposure. I'd like to introduce you to the direction I'm taking this, but I have no idea. So welcome to the shenanigans of me:

Who I am is not important. What I do is.